Counting down the days...

The Saint Paul Craftstravaganza is coming up in 2 months! Just in time for Mother's Day, the epic craft fair will be held on Saturday, May 12 at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds. I have been busy making jewelry and fiber accessories, as well as creating some new marketing materials.

My new business cards, shipping labels, and stickers are on their way, and I am loving the rubber stamp I had made. I am using the stamp on kraft paper boxes and bags. It also makes simple business cards or jewelry cards for my post earrings.

Each day I try to work on some aspect of Arsenal of Buttons, be it updating my blog, my Etsy store, or my Facebook page, or making at least one pair of earrings, a crochet flower hair clip or brooch, or a pair of fingerless mittens. I cannot wait to set all of the items out on my table at the Craftstravaganza. Seeing it all come together is such an amazing feeling.

I have some wonderful, yet naughty company in the studio. Lucca enjoys exploring every nook and cranny in the space, climbing into grocery bags filled with various craft items, pawing at my jewelry tools, ingesting bits of wool roving or a button here and there. Eventually he finds his way onto the couch or under my feet at my work table. If he gets too goosey, he gets escorted out of the studio.

Lucca thinks he is going to go unnoticed taking my chair. 

The next two months will fly by, time seems to be moving so quickly. My hope is that I make enough work for the show, and that there is enough variety to interest people. I want people to come up to the table and feel invited to pick things up, try them on, and ask questions. The only way that will happen is if there are items to pick up and try on!

Enough blogging. Time to go make a pair of fingerless mitts...

New Year, New Work

It has been fairly busy for the last couple of months. I have been accepted to participate in the Saint Paul Craftstravaganza, a large, well-attended craft show at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds on May 12. My time has been spent creating many new jewelry pieces, mostly earrings, and crochet accessories, focusing on quick and simple gifts for Mother's Day.

My husband and I spent the beginning of this year enjoying the company of good friends. We love gathering together for a big meal or just to sit and visit. We both feel so blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive collection of friends.

A full day of cooking and the reward of an amazing meal with good friends

Lunch with my husband, brother, and his wonderful girlfriend 

Two of the most fulfilling things I have spent my time doing includes volunteer at some of the local Jewish organizations in my community, making potato knishes at the Shalom Home, a care facility for the elderly, and making fruit filled cookies called Hamantashen at my Synogogue, and spending time with my 96 year old grandmother. She is full of energy and has a brilliant memory. I love listening to her recall events from her life. Every day I am able to spend with her is a blessing. 

Making potato knishes for the residents of the Shalom Home

Sunday visit with my Bubby and my beautiful cousin

One of the bigger decisions made this year has been to go back to school this fall so I can try a completely new career. I am looking forward to the experience, the challenge, but to be honest, I just can hardly wait to buy school supplies again. I am currently working through the application process, and will have a much more clear vision of the rest of this year by the time summer arrives.

Once I begin school this fall, I will most likely pause making items, but will hopefully still have a great inventory to sell for the holidays. I have also halted taking custom orders at this point so I can focus on cranking out strong work for the Craftstravaganza. 

       

Diving into Arsenal of Buttons the last few months has been so rewarding and satisfying. I split my time between crocheting flower pins and hair clips in my family room, to hiding out in my studio working on jewelry. The focus for this spring is simple and modern, but not too contemporary- I still love an organic and imperfect aesthetic. The shapes I am focusing on are simple circles, horseshoes, teardrops, and I'm also making some twig earrings and bezel set button earrings set in sterling.

I hope you can come check out Arsenal of Buttons on Saturday, May 12 2012, Just in time for Mother's Day. I have been working hard to build my inventory and improve my branding, and I would love to share it with everyone. Visit http://craftstravaganza.com/ for more information on time, place, and the many talented vendors!

It's okay to be lazy sometimes. Right?

Yesterday was wonderfully productive. I made new earrings, photographed them, and added them to my Etsy store. Little horseshoes and loops. I made dinner for my husband, J, and said 'yes' to a small social gathering, which I am often too shy to say 'yes' to. It felt good to go; we had a great time.

Today, I managed to find an incredible price on silver, get to the grocery store for some rosemary bread and mango, photographed some fingerless mittens and added them to the shop, and ran the dishwasher

which is an amazing accomplishment most days.

The majority of the day has been spent on the middle section of my couch, with the coffee table pulled close to me for easy access to my can of soda, the remote, and the basket of untouched balls of yarn. 

I guess I don't feel entirely productive until I have gotten a little exercise out of the way, and made at least one thing. I have managed to do neither today, although I have done a good handful of other things. All of the other accomplishments fall to the wayside if one or two things don't get done. Each day I try to do too many things, filling up my plate and scolding myself when my way-to-large list doesn't get completed. 

I try to remind myself of all the things I do accomplish each day, and all the things I do that don't involve soldering metal and picking up a crochet hook. I'm a wife, a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a daughter-in-law, and a loyal friend to a small but brilliant little group of close folks. I work hard to maintain my relationships, and can honestly say that if someone is in my life, there is a good reason, and if someone is not in my life, there is also a good reason. I need to remind myself that my worth isn't found in my dress size, the amount of things I make, or the job I have (or don't have). The most important job I have is to be a trustworthy, honest, kind and patient person. The patient part comes and goes. 

The new year brings so many mixed emotions and thoughts. Should I create some kind of unattainable "resolution"? Did I accomplish enough this year? Will anything life-changing happen in 2012? 2011 was a roller coaster. J got sick and recovered, we've been through job loss, I got married, I joined a gym (again), and cleaned the apartment. Yes, that is worth listing. I thought maybe this would be the year of home-ownership and new and exciting responsibilities at work, but those things will come another time, everything has its time.

In 2012, I plan on continuing to do what I do. Eat sensibly and get regular exercise, explore new creative pursuits, be physically and emotionally available for my family and friends, and to try not to take everything so damn seriously.  I am hoping to explore teaching craft classes, look into furthering my education, create a new series of jewelry, spin lots of yarn, take cooking classes and feed my hubby, have company over more often, and get coffee with friends regularly. More date nights with J would be lovely too!

Less worry, less road rage, more faith, more dancing (alone and with others), less FEAR. No more fear. I believe that is the only thing holding me back. 

Happy New Year, to whoever spends their precious time reading this silly little blog. 

4 year anniversary of when we met, 12-25-11

The New Normal

There have been some major changes for me lately, which have been bittersweet. I found myself unemployed as of early November, and promptly turned up the heat on Arsenal of Buttons (AOB). With the holidays just around the corner, I knew if I stayed busy with my work I would be okay through the New Year.

My first Monday morning at home I decided that it was time to tackle our space. Having more time on my hands meant no more excuses; I finally had the opportunity to create the clean home I have wanted and needed to be creatively productive. I am pleased to say that our place has never been more clean, including my studio.

Let's back up a bit.
There is one more big change in my life. I got married in September, after 11 months of planning and preparing. It was by far the most wonderful day of my life. Each detail was important; I made my headpiece, my husband sanded the large wooden slabs we used for our centerpieces from my parents tree, he made our guestbook fingerprint poster, I hand glittered the guest place cards, we designed our invitation and accompanying materials together (no small miracle), I made my bridesmaids jewelry and nest wedding cake topper, I covered large letters in glitter and moss, the list goes on. It was our day, and we made it so.

Special thanks to the brilliant women at Paper Rock Scissor for printing our invitations, menus, and signs, Carl Anderson of Princess Bride Videography for capturing our day so beautifully, Kris Drake Photography for being there from start to finish, on her feet at 7 months pregnant, Sugar Sugar Candy in South Minneapolis for providing sweet treats, Mary Andler of Mary's Floral for my stunning flowers, and Richfield Floral for creating the Chuppah of our dreams, complete with birch branches and my great grandmothers table cloth as the canopy.

    


Prior to the wedding, my husband got very sick in May and spent 6 of 7 nights in the ICU. I stayed with him each night, curled up in the waiting room, not leaving him until the nurses changed over and I had to step out. That experience of being so close to losing my partner changed us both. We are closer than ever, and have an understanding of what is truly important. This has made us look at our current situation in a different light. Yes, I'm not working at a full time job. But we are lucky to be together, and lucky to have our health and to have a support system.

So, a lot has happened, and I predict more changes in the near future. I have never given Arsenal of Buttons this much effort and time. I can honestly say I have never felt better. I get up early, have breakfast, and give all my attention to AOB. With the company of our cat, Lucca, I crochet, solder silver, update my Etsy store, check my AOB Facebook page, explore the Etsy business topic forums, vacuum, dust, grocery shop, ship orders (my favorite thing to do!), and try to exercise. One thing I thought I would do more with time off, is nap. No naps here, I stay quite busy. Of course, I have my eyes peeled for possible full-time work, but I wanted to see what it would be like to make AOB my full time job for just a little while. With the support of close friends and Etsy orders from all over the country, it has been a truly successful month.

This Sunday is my third and final craft fair of the holiday season. I have redesigned my table for craft fairs, and feel like I have found what works. The leftover wood from the wedding has come in handy!
















The craft fair will be at the Saint Paul Jewish Community Center, this Sunday, December 18, from 1 - 4pm. It would be great to see some friendly faces there. Even if you don't make an AOB purchase, I will have cookies and cream Hershey kisses on my table.

Thank you for your support and for taking the time to get an AOB update. Happy holidays and best wishes to you and your families!

Getting Ready

This week has been very exciting. On sunday I had the opportunity to meet with a local fashion designer. She gave me some wonderful advice and absolutely inspired me to keep pushing forward with new creations from Arsenal of Buttons. I am grateful to have spend time with her.

I also received an email from the shop I have been selling my little flower brooches. They would like to buy my goods wholesale, rather than consignment, which is great! I will be creating new flower brooches out of luxury yarns, perfect for wearing on a sweater, putting on a purse, giving as a simple yet thoughtful gift.

I am looking forward to trying new stitches to create some more elaborate flowers, and using bold vintage buttons.

I am hoping to also have my CozyCowls available for purchase at the shop. I have some large cowls ready to sell that are great for cold weather. They are made with super chunky yarn and each have a hand-stamped tag.

This weekend I was recovering from a long, fast-paced work week, and decided to try something new. I took a thick wool-blend yarn in charcoal and created a ruffle-cowl. The border is in a gorgeous wool-tencel blend, that has a sheen that makes it look metallic. I am so thrilled with the outcome. I used a large vintage silver button with a crystal in the center, and on the opposite side of the button I placed my hand-stamped tag- as per the advice of the local designer I met with last Sunday.

I look forward to creating this in multiple colors for the holidays this year. Each Ruffle Cowl with have a different button, since many of my buttons are one-of-a-kind.

Pictured to the right is my new hand-stamped label. I love the little bird stamp that has taken the place of the 'O' in Arsenal of Buttons.

Please check back soon for more new creations, and my big Etsy shop announcement!

Autumn Motivation

It is the busy season at work, full of travel and meetings. When I go on the road I always bring some fiber projects to work on. I bring a little handspun yarn, store bought yarn, my crochet hooks and some finished projects that need to be photographed. I enjoy getting to my destination early so I can find a little coffee shop to sit down in to crochet and have a treat.

It's a great way to meet the locals. Every time I start working, someone comes up and wants to know what I'm working on. Sometimes I even have other crochet or knitters come and join me. Last Wednesday I was in La Crosse, Wisconsin. I went to Jule's Cafe and within 20 minutes I was talking to four friendly people. One girl I met was working on a beautiful wool and silk knit cowl in a deep wine color. It is so much fun to meet other crafters on the road.

Sometimes the only time I have to crochet is while I'm on the road. I have been so busy at work, and by the time I get home I am depleted. I find it a challenge to muster up enough energy to peel the plastic off a meal and microwave it. But, lately I have pushed myself to make the time while in town to sit down and relax, and finish my projects. I had been asked numerous times when I was going to make wrist warmers, but I did not know how to so I wasn't able to do it. Last week I decided to try making a pair without a pattern while I was traveling. I ended up making two pairs, and I just love them. They are functional and cozy.

The first pair I made was using my multicolor handspun yarn, and the second pair was made with merino and tencel yarn in charcoal grey. I am looking forward to cranking about about 10 pairs for the holidays. They would make perfect stocking stuffers or a small gift for a coworker or friend. And who doesn't love a handmade gift?

On the Road Again

I am preparing to leave town for work. My job requires me to be on the road for about three weeks here and there this fall. While traveling I enjoy staying occupied with a craft project to keep me calm. My job is high energy when traveling, and when I am not "on", I like to "turn off" by crocheting in my hotel room. I look forward to spending my evenings with good friends I've met on the road in the past, and spending my late nights crocheting, and watching cable- a luxury I do not allow myself at home.

I have been searching for three things: patience, energy, and time. These things do not come easy for me. I crochet because it centers my mind. Crafting helps me "build mastery"; an activity that builds confidence. It is extremely gratifying to start with a ball of sheep's wool and spin it into my own yarn in the thickness of my choice. Then, I can crochet a bit of wearable art with it. From start to finish, it was created with my own two hands. I relish the moment where I can put on a piece of finished work. Today was a challenge in terms of finding patience. I had time, and a bit of energy, but patience was lacking. On days like this I can not be home. I have to pack a bag of yarn and coffee shop hop until I feel satisfied.

My recent work combines my own handspun yarn, and store-bought yarn. I enjoy dropping in a stripe of my handspun yarn into a scarf or cowl, or embellishing an entirely handspun piece with some luxury store-bought yarn. I am drawn to magenta, turquoise, olive green, gray, and robins egg blue. I need to get out of this box, and work in a honey hue or red. 

The handspun stripe in the cowl pictured left is made from Merino wool, angelina fiber, bamboo, and Tussah silk.

Each piece I make is embellished with a little silver oval tag. I hand stamp each oval with AOB for Arsenal of Buttons. The "O" in AOB is a little bird stamp. I am excited about the new tags; they are a nice finishing touch and makes each piece feel complete.

My goal for this fall is to have a nice inventory by late November so I can be ready for the holidays and fill up my Etsy.com store. It will feel wonderful to have a full shop again. But for now, I will stay busy crocheting, and take advantage of the evenings on the road. One more week until I leave- wish me luck!

Supercoils

I can hear the church bells of the St. Paul Cathedral today from my office. The windows are open, the sun is shining, and the bell chimes are the same tune as my grandma Pauline's old grandfather clock. I've been thinking about her today.

I am all wrapped up in my spinning. It has left little room for jewelry making, or even crocheting to build a new inventory for this fall. I feel like I want to make sure each skein of freshly spun yarn is perfect and acceptable for purchase. I am my own worst critic.

My most recent work has been playing with plying; making supercoils and spinning shredded fabric. I'm having a blast, but I know it's time to buckle down and start either selling the yarn, or using it myself to create new cozy-wear for this fall. I am also anxious to fill up my Etsy store. I have many goals for this fall.

The supercoil yarn is time consuming to create, but incredibly satisfying to spin. It's slow, dedious, but delicious. My first supercoil yarn (pictured left) is a blend of merino, tussah silk, tencel, angelina fibers, and of course, lots of sparkle. I love the rich acid green, the mossy tones and deep browns. I combined earth tones with water and sky as well. There are soft baby blues, teal, turquoise, and cream.

Now I just need to figure out what to make with it...


If anyone has any ideas, or feels that they can't live without this yarn, visit:
 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Arsenal-of-Buttons/85214218540?ref=ts

Nearly a year later...

and it's time to post again. It's time to make this a priority, and move forward.

News: I still enjoy making jewelry, but my new obsession is spinning yarn. It brings me peace, joy, and has cultivated new friendships.

Here is a preview of what's to come:

I love the process of carding the wool by hand, adding bits of various fibers and sparkle, and trying new techniques on the wheel, like making cocoons and plying.

My goal is to post more often; discussing my process and ideas. I feel it's time to push myself and get on with it! Something has been holding me back, and I am ready to move forward. One skein of yarn at a time.

Autumn Motivation

I have been busy working on a new line of jewelry, called the Jade Series, inspired by the wonderful rubbery little plants that my grandmother has at her house. They are so nostalgic for me, and have recently been so inspiring.



Please visit my Facebook fan page for Arsenal of Buttons:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Arsenal-of-Buttons/85214218540

Here you will find the most recent photos of my work, photos of works in progress in my photo album titled "Process", and get updates on what I'm up to in my studio.

I need to make sure I have time to sit in my studio and crank out some work for the upcoming College of Visual Arts Holiday Sale, which runs from December 4 to the 6th this year. I am so excited for it, but will be out of town for work in September and a little of October, and I will need to make time to get things done before I'm gone! I am looking forward to this years sale because I will have more work than ever, and better work. I want to have pieces from the Jade Series, and I want to include new oxidized fine silver and gemstone jewelry, and make more simple small things to appeal to a broader audience.

I have a lot to do! Stay posted on my facebook fan page. Thanks for your support!

Back in the habit

It has been a wild year. Wonderful job, new apartment with my partner and artist, www.johnnyquinine.com, and new creative pursuits.

I have begun working in sterling, and thoroughly enjoy the many steps it involves. I love working with fire, with my hands, with new tools, with chemicals and acid... it is all exciting to me. My newest pieces are inspired by nature of course, my biggest inspiration. I love the trees outside my apartment building. The leaves are made up of a long stem, with multiple little leaves of roughly the same size attached. I wanted to replicate the pattern in sterling, without casting the actual leaf. I am not interested in casting at this point but see myself trying it later on down the road. Much later... first I would like to master the few things I am attempting to do.


More of my new sterling silver jewelry can be seen on my facebook fan page for Arsenal of Buttons. Please become a fan and spread the word.


The new apartment is still in progress, but it is feeling more and more like home. The newest addition to the family is this little wild fellow:


He keeps me up at night meowing as loud a he possibly can, but he is stone cold deaf, so he can keep me company while I hammer my silver jewelry and I sleeps right through the noise.

I am also enjoying the job I have had for just over a year. I get to work with creative people, meet creative young people everyday, and am encouraged to continue to work on my art. I enjoy all of the new experiences I get to have through this position.

I hope to post more often, life has been busy and through all the good came some bad as well, including the loss of my wonderful grandmother Pauline at age 94. I will commit to pushing though my fatigue and post on a more regular basis.

Art in St. Paul MN Tomorrow!

A lot of wonde​rful event​s going​ on Tomor​row,​ Satur​day decem​ber 6th!​!​



10:​00am - 4:​00pm
Colle​ge of Visua​l Arts Galle​ry
173 Weste​rn Avenu​e (at Selby​ Avenu​e)​
Saint​ Paul,​ MN

The sale featu​res artwo​rk by stude​nts,​ facul​ty,​ staff​,​ and alumn​i.​ Selec​t artwo​rk from the CVA art archi​ves are also inclu​ded in the silen​t aucti​on.​

Proce​eds benef​it the CVA Schol​arshi​p Fund!​


Pleas​e come to the CVA Holid​ay Art Sale and Aucti​on and check​ out jewel​ry by Arsen​al of Butto​ns!​ It is fine silve​r jewel​ry embel​lishe​d with genui​ne gemst​ones and fresh​water​ pearl​s,​ and is femin​ine,​ organ​ic,​ and elega​nt.​ Arsen​al of Butto​ns will also have her CozyC​uffs on sale and there​ are only a limit​ed suppl​y!​
Again​-​ the CVA sale is from 10am to 4pm, pleas​e check​ it out!



Also,​ Arsen​al of Butto​ns is the featu​red artis​t at Karma​ for the 2008 Grand​ Meand​er on Grand​ Avenu​e in St. Paul,​ VERY close​ to CVA.

From 4:00 to 7:​00pm there​ will be a recep​tion at Karma​,​ so pleas​e go and check​ out FIBER​ ART by Arsen​al of Butto​ns!​

Karma​ is locat​ed at 867 Grand​ Avenu​e at Victo​ria St. right​ next door to Bread​ and Choco​late.​



THANK​ YOU all for your suppo​rt,​ and pleas​e come to the Colle​ge of Visua​l Arts Holid​ay Sale and Aucti​on,​ and Karma​-​ TOMOR​ROW!​!​

If you are in the St. Paul, Minnesota area this weekend...

THIS SATURDAY, December 6

10 a.m. - 4 p.m. at COLLEGE OF VISUAL ARTS Gallery

Support local artists by shopping at CVA's Holiday Sale at the CVA Gallery, 173 Western Avenue in St. Paul, on the corner of Western and Selby avenues in Minnesota

The sale features artwork by students, faculty, staff, and alumni. Select artwork from the CVA art archives also included in silent auction. Proceeds benefit the CVA scholarship funds!

I want this.

Autumn free association...


Pumpkin and apple picking.
Cordaroys.
Scarves.
Boots.
Hats.
Trick or treat.
Costumes.
Crunchy leaves.
bare branches.
Yellow, red, brown.
blankets, quilts.
naps.
breeze.
jackets.
electricity in the air.
spooky.
calm.
cider.
cinnamon.
brisk evening strolls.
acorns.
haunted houses.
nostalgia.
vintage glittery halloween house decorations.
abandoned nests.
pumpkin pie.
post-dinner naps.
fires in the fireplace.
bonfires.
smores.
stew.
wild rice and cranberries.
corn mazes.
hayrides.

I am the best version of myself in the Fall. I enjoy every single aspect of Fall. The cool air in the morning, layers of clothing, the colors, the sounds, the activities. I look forward to cider on the couch with my quilt, movies i love most in the fall such as Hocus Pocus, Bed of Roses, A Christmas Story, Matilda, Harriet the Spy, and the making of Michael Jacksons "Thriller", on VHS of course. I cant wait to put together my Halloween Costume, pass out candy, wear fabulous big bejeweled pins on my cozy scarves, corduroys with boots! I can't wait. This year i WILL go apple and pumpkin picking, I will go on a hayride, I will get lost in a corn maze. I will take brisk cool walks at dusk with my partner. I will cook warm filling food and feed my friends by pumpkin spice candle light.

tell me you love autumn as much as I do.

Friday relief

Birds.

At my desk at work I have a 4"x4" plate with a nest on it, a real peacock feather, a small nest containing my official magnetic name tag for my job position, a wooden twig picture frame, and three plants: a large Jade, a small Jade that was leaning but is now supported by three small brown coffee stir sticks, and one amazing Burros Tail plant. I love these things.

When I break for lunch I like to get online and Google "birds" and see what I find. I like this image, the cluster of bird silhouettes. I want to enlarge it, make stencils, and decorate my apartment.

My friend is currently making me a quilt with fabric I picked out. I could not be more excited! I am paying her for her work and I am also making her a pair of fine silver hand fused, hammered, and tumbled large teardrop shaped earrings with peacock feather pieces dangling inside. I will post photos when they are done. I love doing custom work, and trading. And, one of the best highlights of my new job is that not only can I pay all my bills on my own and on time, I can also afford to buy a little art from friends, jewelry, paintings, and now, quilts!

Today is Friday. I plan on spending the early afternoon sitting on a big couch venting out loud, then calling my landlord back about an email I sent explaining the upsetting issues about my building, then I plan on napping for at least 2 hours, 3 would be amazing. after that, dinner and a movie. It should be a wonderful Friday.

Staying busy, staying positive

There are few things as satisfying as adding to, tiding up, and organizing ones planner. My Google Calendar is by far the most exciting part of my day thus far in my journey as an Admissions Counselor.

I relish the moments when I am included in an important meeting; making it necessary to add an appointment to my calendar. I have color coded each part: Office, Personal, TV… without their own specific color they would be sure to get lost amongst themselves.

I am looking forward to traveling. I am being sent to various high schools around the state to preach the word of Art-School. I can hardly wait to go to the beginners seminar this coming week, where I will float amongst fellow counselors, finally learning the ins-and-outs I need. Once on the road I look forward to checking out local antique shops and café’s, odd bookstores in search of Ray Bradbury books for my boyfriend. Maybe I will be so lucky as to find a Shelly China cup and saucer set in the lily of the valley pattern for my mother for her birthday.

I will be sure to take loads of photos, I can hardly wait to document each trip, minus photos of long stretches of flat land. Most albums can do without those. I just might have to visit the local Dairy Queen in each town I visit… and then perhaps the local gym.

One thing that I have been craving but have had little time and energy to do is make jewelry. I wear my jewelry to work every day, and I love the feeling when someone notices a piece. I have work to do for two people, and If I could just sit down for a couple of hours after work and crank it out, I would be so happy.

Right now I am working on a two-tone bracelet with black jet flat faceted beads. The bracelet is made up of ½ inch and 1inch hand-fused, hammered and tumbled fine silver hoops, which alternate with gold hammered 1inch hoops that I took from a piece of jewelry. The rest of the components, such as the toggle clasp are gold filled, and inside each hoop I have harnessed the flat, round jet black bead. It is a one of a kind custom piece, and I will be sad to part with it when I ship it this week.

The other pieces I am working on right now are a pair of hand-fused, hammered, and tumbled to a high shine, fine silver teardrop shaped earrings. They feature various shades of peacock feathers which I have placed in crimps and attached to the inside of the teardrop, giving the earrings the look of a whole peacock feather. The girl who these are for used peacock feathers in her wedding and wanted a set of jewelry to wear in remembrance of the big day. I will also be making a matching necklace with (hopefully) interchangeable feathers.

There are a handful of things that give me a feeling of being whole; completing a piece of jewelry or posting an item of etsy.com ( http://www.arsenalofbuttons.etsy.com ), completing tasks at work, walking up and down the stairs where I work (which happens to be my college), sitting on the couch with a bottle of water after a good workout, positive discussions with my boyfriend, and spending time with my mother.

If I can do any number of those things each week, I think I’m in good shape.

Yesterday was a good day. It was just what I needed. A happy day at work, followed by a productive and meaningful get together with my boyfriend. We have both been so busy with new things in our lives, I think we were starting to scare each other with the anxious sides of ourselves. It can be scary when trauma hits, or there is just a great big life changing event, and all of a sudden you see a new side of someone you love, and are not sure if you are quite comfortable with that.
But, after yesterday, I am feeling better- much better. I'm feeling optimistic, creative, loved.

Work is wonderful, although since I am new, I have to try to keep myself busy for 9 hours doing not nearly as much as I'd like to be. I can't wait until I reach a point where I get to give tours of the campus, review portfolios, and I'd even love to do a little more data entry. I have thoroughly enjoyed researching dozens of other art colleges, diving into each website, scouring the mass of information until my eyes are sufficienly exhausted.

I even enjoy waking up at 5:45, taking a piping hot shower, making lunch, picking out a piece of my handmade jewelry to wear that day, and listening to music I love in the car. I love getting to my desk, listening to the local commercial-free radio station, and doing whatever I am asked to do. The busier the better. Today I mastered the postage machine, the copier behaved, and I am a pro at printing addresses directly onto a large envelope. The best part of my day was signing a letter to a student with my name, my information. When they call the school to get a tour, they will ask for me.

I. Cant. Wait.

Thankfully, I still have time in the evenings and on the weekends to rest, make jewelry, cook, watch a favorite television show, movie, whatever Id like. Maybe even get a workout in. I couldn't be happier, this feels right. I am so grateful.

I'm feeling a lot better now. it's 2am, and I just got home from watching my boyfriend play in his band. When He joined this band, I did too in a way. All the boys in the band are attached to a wife or a girlfriend, so I have been fortunate enough to make some new friends. 

It has been a treat having a nice handful of people to spend time with on the weekends, grilling, watching movies, talking. It makes me feel more complete. One of the girls just got married in April, and wore a tiara covered in seed pearls. She asked me if I could make her some jewelry with the pearls so she could wear her wedding pearls on a daily basis. One of my favorite things to do is custom jewelry, so I did a number of drawings for her, we talked and I came up with a necklace, earrings, and a bracelet for her, all using her pearls. 

Tonight before the concert, me and this girl got together for dinner and I gave her the jewelry. It felt so good to give her something that I knew she would love and would mean so much. The hardest part was figuring out what to charge, since she is a friend, and a new one at that. I chose a number, and she generously ended up paying me more. It was just fun going out to eat with a girlfriend. I just have a couple close girlfriends, so it feels great to go out and enjoy dinner with a new friend. 

I'm glad I was able to wind down and relax, This week is going to be very exciting and scary since I am starting a new job, and I just hope I am prepared and do well. 

How it needs to be.

That feeling where everything is up in the air, and there is one or two things that are so nerve-wracking that they make everything else make less sense, that feeling makes me so ill. 

I need for the following week to go well, so I can be well, inside and out. mind body soul, I need everything to work in harmony. This week I just need for things to work out smoothly. 

I have a loving family, a boyfriend who adores me, an apartment where I make food, take naps, and take hot showers. I have a job that will hopefully fill that void, the hole you have when you don't feel like the work you do is making a difference. I have my health. I would just like my brain to simmer down.

I have spent the past 6 weeks cranking out as much work as I can, and it has been one of the most challenging 6 weeks I have had in a couple of years. I made a whistle necklace, and I feel like wearing it when I am having "one-of-those-days", where you just want to sound the alarm for help, blow the whistle and the angels will come and whisk you off to safety. 

This week I just need for everyone to be gentle, to hug me gently, and not squeeze. I just need to be handled with care.

Creative process

...I lay in bed ignoring that the half-hours are melting by, and I know I should peel my body out of bed and make things. I attempt to focus hard on my bowl of cereal so as to not continue to hunt and nibble on various things in my kitchen. I reluctantly attach myself to the elliptical machine I bought for myself so I would never have to go to the gym ever again, a machine that I will be paying off for another 4 years of my life. After I hop dizzily off the machine, and come to the dazzling realization that I have completed my 30-minute torture session for the day, I take a boiling hot shower, where I finally begin to feel like myself, and I am finally ready for my day.

My "studio" is 1.5 miles from my apartment. I have a large solid kitchen table from the 1950's that I so proudly attached all four legs to with an electric screw driver. I have my trusty little butane torch, goggles that I only put on if my family pokes there head in see if I am being safe, and I have enough beads to open my own store. My studio began as a little TV table in my living room. I have a one bedroom apartment, a small one. If you are a crafter, you know that even the largest space can become small in just a matter of time, with enough trips to the bead store, scrapbook store, hell- any store. My studio quickly migrated from my little TV table, to my entire kitchen table, forcing me and my boyfriend to eat our dinners quietly sitting on the floor in the living room. When I finally decided to take back my apartment and turn it into a real livable space again, I decided to move my workspace to a place where you can (usually) always go back to: home. Mom and dads. My old bedroom. My mother covered the room in a black and white toile pattern, but it still feels like my old room.

So, I see my parents just about every day. And I enjoy seeing them, so I go frequently, which means completing projects rather than ignoring them because you resent the fact that they have taken over your home. Now they take over my former bedroom.

I am about to start my very first full time job, salary, 401K, all that wonderful stuff that makes me feel like a grown up. I have this horrible fear that my new job will take over and I will have no time to make things, the things that make me feel fulfilled, healthy, full, whole. The things that keep me from raiding the kitchen when I'm not hungry. The things that help me sleep at night and get up in the morning. Tell me that I will not throw away my passion and become a 7-4pm drone who forgets to work out, eat right, and make the art she was put on this earth to create.

In a perfect world I would get up at 5:30 am, workout for 30 minutes, shower and look fabulous by 7am, and be at work by 7:30. I would have a fulfilling and productive day at work, I would come home by 5pm, and make a nutritious dinner, maybe even enough to share with my dear boyfriend. I would then go to my studio and make jewelry until 8 or 9pm, be in bed by 9:30 or 10pm, and do it all again the following morning.

Well, we will just have to see what happens, I have great faith in myself, but I also know that I love to sleep in, pass out after work and eat out of containers standing up before going to bed far too late for my own good.

I'm going to stay positive.