Yesterday was wonderfully productive. I made new earrings, photographed them, and added them to my Etsy store. Little horseshoes and loops. I made dinner for my husband, J, and said 'yes' to a small social gathering, which I am often too shy to say 'yes' to. It felt good to go; we had a great time.
Today, I managed to find an incredible price on silver, get to the grocery store for some rosemary bread and mango, photographed some fingerless mittens and added them to the shop, and ran the dishwasher
which is an amazing accomplishment most days.
The majority of the day has been spent on the middle section of my couch, with the coffee table pulled close to me for easy access to my can of soda, the remote, and the basket of untouched balls of yarn.
I guess I don't feel entirely productive until I have gotten a little exercise out of the way, and made at least one thing. I have managed to do neither today, although I have done a good handful of other things. All of the other accomplishments fall to the wayside if one or two things don't get done. Each day I try to do too many things, filling up my plate and scolding myself when my way-to-large list doesn't get completed.
I try to remind myself of all the things I do accomplish each day, and all the things I do that don't involve soldering metal and picking up a crochet hook. I'm a wife, a daughter, a sister, an auntie, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a daughter-in-law, and a loyal friend to a small but brilliant little group of close folks. I work hard to maintain my relationships, and can honestly say that if someone is in my life, there is a good reason, and if someone is not in my life, there is also a good reason. I need to remind myself that my worth isn't found in my dress size, the amount of things I make, or the job I have (or don't have). The most important job I have is to be a trustworthy, honest, kind and patient person. The patient part comes and goes.
The new year brings so many mixed emotions and thoughts. Should I create some kind of unattainable "resolution"? Did I accomplish enough this year? Will anything life-changing happen in 2012? 2011 was a roller coaster. J got sick and recovered, we've been through job loss, I got married, I joined a gym (again), and cleaned the apartment. Yes, that is worth listing. I thought maybe this would be the year of home-ownership and new and exciting responsibilities at work, but those things will come another time, everything has its time.
In 2012, I plan on continuing to do what I do. Eat sensibly and get regular exercise, explore new creative pursuits, be physically and emotionally available for my family and friends, and to try not to take everything so damn seriously. I am hoping to explore teaching craft classes, look into furthering my education, create a new series of jewelry, spin lots of yarn, take cooking classes and feed my hubby, have company over more often, and get coffee with friends regularly. More date nights with J would be lovely too!
Less worry, less road rage, more faith, more dancing (alone and with others), less FEAR. No more fear. I believe that is the only thing holding me back.
Happy New Year, to whoever spends their precious time reading this silly little blog.
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| 4 year anniversary of when we met, 12-25-11 |
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